Hearing news of a loved one passing is a lot like hearing about a national catastrophe - you will always remember where you were when you heard the news. I will always remember that I was on a train heading to Chicago (away from my family) when I got the call that Granda passed away. It was not an unexpected call nor a dreaded one, since he was ready to go. But it still made me very sad. I am so wonderfully grateful that he was in my life for the past 28 years and I'm so so thankful that was my mom was able to be with him all day today - just sitting and holding his hand and talking to him. I'm also thankful that he went quickly. It was less than 2 weeks ago that he began his rapid decline.
There is nothing like death to make you think about life - life lived and life yet to come. Over the last week and especially now, I am flooded with memories of Granda. I want to share some of my favorites.
1) When I was a fairly young girl, Granda pulled out the little wooden flute that he had played in a marching pipe band in Northern Ireland. He always played this cheery little tune. I loved it! When I got a little older I started playing the flute and I learned to play that little tune. I remember how thrilled he was! I still remember it and play it now and then. I think I'm the only person he passed that down to so I will always remember and will pass it on to my children and tell them about their Great Granda.
2) My family is big on tradition and one that I cherish most is Christmas Eve. The entire family always congregates at Granda and Nanny's, usually really late at night after our respective Christmas Eve services, and we'd feast. And then Granda would read the Christmas story from Luke. Every year. No matter who reads that story now, I always have, and always will hear it in a raspy, Irish brogue.
3) I love that growing up I always lived on Granda's farms. I remember my very first day of Kindergarten going out to the barn before getting on the bus to see Granda. I remember how he taught me to yell in the silo and hear the echo. As I grew up, one of my favorite things was getting to help on the hay wagon. Granda would call and we'd don our leather gloves and either scurry up the piles of hay in the wagon or run up to the loft in the barn to catch the hay on the other end and stack it neatly. It was hot and dirty and scratchy but we loved being able to help Granda. And before I was too big to help I loved that it was my job to carry down glasses of cold water! And he was always so strong. I remember him picking up heavy hay bales that had fallen off the elevator and hoisting them high over the side of the wagon. I remember one time feeling just sick because I'd been helping with hay in the wagon, and Granda let me use the ice pick he'd brought with him from Ireland to grab hold of the bales. We were finished and taking the wagon back up into the field. I had hung the ice pick over the side of the wagon and it fell off somewhere. I knew that it was Granda's favorite and I searched and searched for it but never found it. Granda was so sweet about it though. He never got mad, never made me feel bad... But doing hay was never quite as easy after that without the pick.
4) I remember Granda spending his time giving the family, and often a gang of our friends, hayrides in the back fields. I loved the hayrides and loved having a Granda who did it for us so willingly and so often. But even better than the hayride was when he'd let me sit up next to him on the tractor itself! I would sit up there and grin and sing and I felt that I was on top of the world.
5) I remember a lot of little things like how he was always puttering around fixing the tractors, and how my friends couldn't always understand his accent and the ones who didn't ask me to interpret would sometimes leave asking "what did he say??" I remember his lectures. You knew you were loved if you got a Granda lecture. I remember how he always told me how pretty I was and comment on how tall I was and then he'd crack up when I'd show him my 3 inch heels. I remember how he'd always lecture us on health and how he swore he got his strength and energy because he only ever ate Total or oatmeal for breakfast. Later in life he decided he liked McDonalds breakfast better. I'll remember how he developed a fondness for Pepsi in the last week of his life, never really being a soda drinker before that. He loved to sing and I always loved hearing him sing in church. And he loved it when mom and i would sing together. He even taught me how to dance a jig!
6) One of my favorite memories will always be the year we went to Ireland with Granda and Nanny. There was nothing more special than getting to drive through the town he worked in, or sitting in the house he grew up in and hearing stories of his childhood. It was fun hearing him reminisce with his brother and sister about their times together. They laughed so much! He always told us the story about the day he left for America - how they stood on the deck of the ship and waved to the shore and sang "fare thee well to the green fields of Ireland." Granda knew that trip would be his last to the homeland and my seat on the plane was in front of his when we took off for home. It was a beautifully clear day (somewhat unusual for Ireland) and as I watched Ireland grow smaller I heard Granda singing softly behind me, "fare thee well to the green fields of Ireland."
7) I'll remember that the last thing I ever said to Granda was that I loved him.
And standing in the back of the train thinking about Granda's life and death, I think of my own life. I believe that I will see Granda again someday, and not as the frail man that just moved on, but as the strong, healthy man he always was. It certainly takes the sting (though not all the pain) out of his death. I keep thinking of the way C.S. Lewis describes heaven at the end of The Last Battle and how this life is merely the cover and title page and I know that Granda is just now starting chapter one of the best story ever.
So yes, our family lost a deeply loved Patriarch today and the world lost a really great man. But heaven is rejoicing and I can't help but smile when I think that Granda is now reunited with his parents and brothers and is in the place his heart always longed to be. I love you, Granda. You will be greatly missed but I will see you again.
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